Pain is invisible. Sure you could see a cast or brace or bandage, but you will never know how much pain a person is in. You may have experienced something similar, but each person’s pain is their own. The quote is “never judge until you have walked in their shoes”. That is partially correct, but even then you still cannot judge. You can NEVER know what a person is feeling. The best thing to do is to be empathetic with them and assume they are truly in pain.
There are different kinds of pain: there is physical pain and emotional pain. Emotional pain is even harder to see. Sometimes emotional pain has accumulated over many years and many experiences. That kind of pain is harder to heal because it is not a matter of broken bones, it is about broken hearts and broken spirits. This kind of pain could take many years to heal if ever. This may require counseling and medication to make life bearable.
When you see someone parking with a handicapped placard, don’t assume they are just looking for a good parking space. There is a reason they have that placard. They may look perfectly normal to you but again you are not inside that person. It would be nice if the people that are judging us, could feel our pain even for just a minute, so that they could understand. I am sorry that it doesn’t work that way.
When you see someone using the wheelchair shopping carts, don’t assume we are too fat to walk. That may be the only way we can get out of the house to feel like normal people. It is the freedom that we have to be able to do our own shopping, or even to just get out and breathe the fresh air and be with other people in public places. That allows us to be independent even if it is just for a little while.
Belief is what is needed when someone is in pain. Benefit of the doubt; don’t just assume we are trying to get away with something. We do not want to be in pain, we want to be just like everyone else. Don’t make us explain why we are in pain because we are tired of doing that over and over and over again. We just want to be accepted and loved and appreciated.
Next time someone says they don’t feel well, just acknowledge and show empathy if you can, but don’t judge. All pain is not the same as everyone else’s. Until someone has shown themselves to be untrustworthy, trust that they are truly in pain no matter what kind of pain it is: emotional or physical. You will become a better person for that and who knows you may make a new friend. We are always looking for understanding people. When you see those placards think twice before judging. We will appreciate that of you.
You may also like these other blogs:
http://wittywedmotherhood.com/
http://madeformusicforever.blogspot.com/
http://hangingoutandin.wordpress.com/
http://heidibethbaker.weebly.com/blog
http://squeezingthefruit.blogspot.com/
Musing on life 